Everyone wants to be successful; however, not everyone is willing to do what it takes. If you want to be successful, it’ll be helpful to give up and let go of these things.
What does success mean to you? If you haven’t sat down and really thought about what’s important to you, then that’s where you want to start.
Without clear intentions, opportunities could be all around us but we simply won’t see them. What’s just as important as deciding on what it is we want, is to learn to let go of the limiting patterns that hold us back from achievement.
Don’t worry about letting go of limiting patterns all at once. Instead, focus on a few at a time, letting them go as you feel necessary. Maybe some of these things here are easier for you to do than others, so start with small wins and work your way up.
Ready to live a happier life? Here we go:
1. Give Up The Need To Be Right
Wanting to always be right is not only a recipe for constant frustration, but it also doesn’t help anyone. There are few absolute truths, and what’s right is subjective to the individual. Instead of pitting your morals against another’s, seek what is ethically right – what will lead to the most good for the highest number of individuals. Rather than right or wrong, replace these constructs with what’s helpful or harmful and seek to make decisions that are most helpful with the least amount of harm.
2. Give Up Your Need To Control Others
Control itself is not necessarily a bad thing. There’s the ability to control your own actions and there’s the need to control others. Wanting to control the people around you is something that isn’t up to you. When we are firm in our experience, we do not need to convince anyone else. Happy and free people grant others their freedom to have personal views and ideas.
Give up your need to convince others of your ways. Whether they are friends, family, or just strangers, allow them to be as they are. Plus, being able to understand why people think or act a certain way is a great way to broaden your horizons.
3. Give Up On Blame
Blame, whether blaming yourself, another, or anything outside of you, is just a way to give up your responsibility. It’s disempowering and inspires guilt. Don’t give your power away any longer — be responsible for your views, feelings, and actions. Learn from them and keep moving forward.
Give up self-defeating talk.
A part of our minds seems to work like gravity, always seeking to make less of things. However, don’t believe everything your mind tells you. Talking down about yourself only diminishes your integrity, and you’re better than that. Make it a practice to focus on your good qualities and wins every day to retrain your mind.
4. Give Up Self-Defeating Talk.
A part of our minds seems to work like gravity, always seeking to make less of things. However, don’t believe everything your mind tells you. Talking down about yourself only diminishes your integrity, and you’re better than that. Make it a practice to focus on your good qualities and wins every day to retrain your mind.
5. Give Up Your Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are nothing more than small perspectives of what’s possible and what’s not. Ultimately, though, we are all capable of anything. Our only work in this realm is to get very clear with our intentions, and then opportunities arise like magic. Switch from limited beliefs to setting clear and honest intentions. You will be surprised what you are truly capable of from there!
6. Give Up Complaining
Complaints are just affirmations for the things we don’t want in life. Really, complaining is just another form of resisting what’s happening and not taking responsibility. Rarely is the situation the problem, but rather, the way we look at things.
7. Give Up Criticism
Being critical only weakens our own and others’ self-determinism. We are all different and that’s the beauty of life. There’s no need to be critical in order to solve a conflict. Instead of being critical, try implementing new ideas and fresh perspectives without the intention that something is wrong. Choose growth over criticism.
8. Give Up Your Need To Impress Others
All stress is just pressure, and I find the need to impress to be one of the greatest modern stressors. Trying to impress people only works against us – people sense inauthenticity and we only make ourselves look insecure and unattractive. The most attractive people are the happiest and authentic. People love realness. The moment you let go of the need to impress and shine in your true self is when you’re likely to attract the right people into your life.
9. Give Up Your Resistance To Change
There are few constants in life and change is one of them. Change is a beautiful thing. If nothing changed, everything would become stagnant and never improve. Change is essential for growth. So, embrace it in order to evolve both mentally and physically.
10. Give Up Labels
Some things don’t need labeling. There’s a freedom in seeing things as-is rather than through the lens of our own personal perspective. Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Notice the subtle differences in people and life without labeling them and you’ll feel much more free in mind.
11. Give Up On Your Fears
Remember: we create fear. There’s no cure for courageousness but if there was a remedy for fear, it is courage. Roosevelt was right when he said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Replace fear with love and curiosity, and watch yourself grow rich in experience.
12. Give Up Your Excuses
Excuses are self-creating limitations.
They are a fancy way of saying, “I hope someone comes along to solve my problems.” Maybe the dog really ate our homework, maybe our parents didn’t give us enough affection, maybe we had a traumatic experience that affects our ability to trust. There is always a reason to not reach our goals and fulfill our desires if we look for it. And some people have really good reasons. But the simple truth is that holding on to these justifications prevents us from making progress. Ditch the excuses, no matter how comforting they may be, connect with what really drives you, and go for it.
13. Give Up The Past
Giving up the past is the only way to truly live in the present and create the future. Truth is, the past doesn’t exist. The best way to complete the past is to accept what happened and pick up where you left off. Enjoy the richness of right now and create a clear vision for the future.
14. Give Up Attachment
Attachment to anything is a great way to decrease our life experience. The moment you detach from possessions, ideas, and people, the world becomes a much bigger place. It can be scary at first, but not being able to fall back on the familiar is a great way to experience new things.
15. Give Up Living Up To Others’ Expectations
Many people are living a life of false purpose, doing things they don’t truly want to do. This creates ultimate unhappiness. While our parents and friends may be doing their best to guide us, the person who knows you best is you.
You can kindly accept that others have an innate desire to help, but you do not have to agree to their advice on how to live.
Trust yourself and do what makes you happy. You’re the only one who is going to live your life, so don’t let others create it for you.
16. Give Up Perfectionism
Perfectionism paralyzes us and makes us unwilling to act at all to avoid the potentiality of falling short. Perfectionism is the killer of execution and most of the time, getting starting is the most important part of any goal.
Trade in perfectionism for action; besides, making mistakes is the best way to hone your craft and improve.
17. Give Up Seriousness
In my experience, the most attractive people are the least serious. Seriousness, by definition, means heaviness and inflexibility. Nobody likes a serious person, they drain energy and take the fun out of life.
It’s also false that you need to be serious to achieve anything. In fact, the less serious you are, the easier things become. Being serious makes things seem really important and bigger than us, making them difficult to handle.
18. Give Up Self-Depreciation
Undervaluing yourself ruins your self esteem and confidence. I suggest giving it up for good. In the end, it’s just a story we tell ourselves, so why not choose one that uplifts and inspires us?
19. Give Up Obsession With Possession
As Dan Ariely explains in his book Predictably Irrational, buying things doesn’t create lasting happiness. We get comfortable and familiar with what we have, then have to go out to get more in order to keep the jollies flowing.
Experiences lead to lasting fulfillment. Adventures, inspiring classes, conversations with friends – these are the things that enrich our lives in the long-term.
20. Give Up Guilt
Guilt and blame are two sides of the same coin – it’s hard to blame someone and not feel guilty. This is why we find ourselves often feeling guilty whenever we commit the harm of blaming someone else for our own conflicts. Not only does guilt do nothing for us, it gives away our power and reduces our integrity. Try replacing guilt with responsibility and see what happens.
21. Give Up The Idea Of Being Rich
Most people will never be extravagantly wealthy. And thankfully, most people don’t need to be. Chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re one of the wealthiest people in the history of humanity – even if you’re not pulling in the billions. Finding peace with your financial situation and getting the most out of what you have makes more sense than working yourself to death in pursuit of money. After all, one of the top regrets of dying people is that they worked too hard and didn’t focus on what was truly important until it was too late.
22. Give Up Self-Repression
The standard model for losing weight, improving our personal finances, and overcoming other personal challenges is “repress for success.” Don’t eat that lobster. Don’t buy that latte. Don’t watch that episode of Dancing With The Stars! All of this leads to a guilt-ridden conscience when we inevitably do some of these activities we’ve decided are in the “bad” pile, even though we desire them.
It’s one thing to cater to every fleeting emotion that flows through us, but it’s actually the exact same result to repress them all: misery, unhappiness, and stress. There is a middle ground between self-repression and reckless indulgence. And it starts with the recognition that our desires aren’t bad and wrong.
23. Give Up Lying
In my experience, lies are one of the number one causes of stress. If you take it far enough, it can lead to problems like insomnia, depression, and other health imbalances.
When we stop lying and start telling the truth, we stop worrying about being found out. Only then can we put our attention on others and experience the one thing we all really desire: intimacy.
You can start by writing down a list of confessions. It’s medicine for the soul. And over time, you can co-create an honest dialogue between you and true friends.
24. Give Up The Illusion Of Safety
It’s human nature to seek safety and survival. It feels good to make our environments comfortable and cozy. However, if we get too comfortable, we start to become resistant to change. It’s best to have a tolerance for both change and no-change, as sometimes a little routine and comfort is necessary.
Real safety and security is knowing yourself and that, regardless of the situation, you will adapt and make it work in your favor. Creativity, resourcefulness, determination, and friendship are qualities of true security.
25. Give Up Perpetual Connection
Social media and internet connection seems great on the outside but like many other things, it has its drawbacks.
While social media can be very beneficial for connection worldwide, relying on it too much can lead to a loss of presence in the real world and an inability to connect with others in our immediate environments.
We are social creatures and built for real-time connection. Connections, relationships, and communication are key to success in all areas of life. Be sure to unplug daily and connect with people face-to-face.
26. Give Up Insecurity
We spend too much time worrying about what others will think of us, and these worries can spiral out of control and become debilitating insecurities about our self worth.
As we discussed earlier, no matter what we do there are going to be those who like us, those who dislike us, and those who don’t have any opinion. It’s a fruitless exercise to try to make it otherwise.
By getting rid of our insecurities, we free up our energy to pursue the things we truly care about with relentless vigor.
27. Give Up Suffering
Suffering can be highly addictive and the more we wish to escape it, the worse it gets. When it comes to a difficult situation, sometimes the best way out is through. Overcome it as opposed to dwelling on it.
There’s good news, though: suffering is completely optional and it’s actually a choice. We create suffering through our mentality. There are no problems with our lives, only our own internal conflict with what is.
28. Give Up The Need To Know
The more comfortable you are with not knowing, the more courageous you become. The need for constant certainty comes from a place of fear.
Let go of the need to know and instead focus on putting in an honest effort in everything you do. All knowledge eventually comes; there’s no need to force it. This applies to everything in life, from budding relationships to your career.
29. Give Up Overthinking
Above thinking about a situation, we all have an intuition that can guide us to the best situations. Try replacing repetitive overthinking with getting in touch with your feelings. Instead of thinking about a situation, ask yourself, “How do I feel about this?”
Often, we overthink when life doesn’t go according to plan. Locate what it is you are overthinking and ask yourself, “What can I do about this now?” Then take action.
30. Give Up Prejudgment
We are quick to criticize the behavior of others before we understand the full story. Judgment can be helpful for evaluating, but prejudgment is a poor habit to harbor.
When it comes to other people, we often only see the external expression of their own beliefs, attitudes, and goals. Rarely do we connect and see what is going on inside. In order to build healthy relationships that build successful lives, it’s better to take time to understand them and listen.
31. Give Up Thinking Small
You can’t teach small minds great things. We are all capable of genius; our only block is our own limited thinking. When starting a project or new life path, many of us are quick to jump into old patterns of thinking.
There is a big dogma that we learn from the past. However, the truth is, no two moments are ever the same. In order to succeed at the things we want in life, we have to do something we’ve never done before. This requires a greater perspective.
32. Give Up The Idea Of A Perfect Partner
Perfectionism is the killer of execution, especially in the experience of romance and partnership.
Perfectionism kills love. No two people think, feel, and act exactly the same in every moment, and that’s a good thing! Imagine going to a movie knowing every single line, the entire plot, how it was going to make you feel, and what you’d think about it — there would be no point in going!
Our partners are going to challenge us to grow and to learn about acceptance, which is the highest form of love there is. Anything we cannot accept and resist in our partners is only a denied conflict we are resisting in ourselves. This is what makes relationships so challenging. By learning to accept our loved ones, we actually learn to accept ourselves.
Above all else, we want partners to be reliable, honest, and sincere, not perfect.
33. Give Up The Idea Of Lack
I know for myself that it’s easy to focus on what I lack rather than what I have. Constantly reaching and striving for more is healthy as long as you are doing it with enthusiasm and staying present.
Otherwise, if we are constantly unsatisfied with what we have, then nothing more that we gain will ever be enough. The only way to dissolve this mentality is by acknowledging the things we have — in a word, gratitude.
34. Give Up The Idea That Others Need To Be Helped
I’ve personally learned that the best way to help others is to help myself. Also, the way I view someone can directly influence their behavior. If we view people as needing help, we are also viewing them as broken, wrong, or incomplete.
Don’t worry about helping others until you’ve helped yourself. Fill your proverbial cup so full that it spills over and the affluence is for everyone else. This way, you never become depleted in your attempt to help another.
Failing to help someone creates a heavy sense of guilt, so it’s important we always feel full and instead of helping others, shift your perspective to sharing your overspill.
35. Give Up The Need To Be Happy
The search for happiness is ever-eluding. Why? Because happiness isn’t outside of us, it’s something we create.
The sweet spot in life is the ability to have or not have. The more we cling to something, whether it’s happiness, an object, or a situation, the more it runs from us. Conversely, the more we run away from things like sadness, the more likely it is we experience it.
Revoke your need for happiness, create it at your will, and know that it’s completely okay to not be happy 100 percent of the time. It’s healthier to experience the whole emotional human experience than just the things that make us “happy.”
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